I find that there are two ways in which respect effects us, and two slightly different meanings. The first is fairly simple, and here I shall quote from Dictionary.com(1) :
Respect : [ri-SPEKT]
'the condition of being esteemed or honored.'
That's pretty obvious. It's a big thing to be respected by someone, or to be told that someone respects you. In fact, for a lot of us, that's almost a goal in life; to be respected. Often times we wish we could be popular, or famous, cause then we'd either have a lot of money, or a lot of respect. Or both. We want to be respected for our talents, our actions, our minds and its thoughts. Pretty much everything.
Then there is a second meaning, which is slightly different. It's less of a 'status' meaning, and more of an 'application' meaning: (again, I quote Dictionary.com, though I'm going to paraphrase a little).
Respect :
'to consider someone to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment.'
In other words, to acknowledge that others have rights, and that they deserve courtesy. To respect someone is to recognize that they are individuals that, while certainly are not perfect, are worth the effort of trying to understand them, and trying to love them (2).
Unfortunately, as Human Beings, we have a disturbing propensity to only think about respect from a selfish viewpoint (3). Everything comes down to how it effects ME. It's just how we process information; it's natural. But that doesn't mean it's right. We want people to respect us, and when they don't, it's like they are poking us in the eye. I mean, I deserve to be respected. People should take me seriously. People should show interest in me or my life. People should love what I write, and thank me for writing it, and so on. (Yes, I admit that I suffer from pride. Big shock on that one, I'm sure.)
It's alllll about me. How often do we stop and think, 'hey, I should really give this fellow my full attention.' or, 'I don't think I show this person enough respect." How often are you put into a social setting, and expect others to come and get to know you, instead of you going out of your comfort zone to get to know them? I'm ashamed to say for myself that the answer to that question is usually 'Not much' or 'Not at all'.
As Christians, what should our attitude towards respect be?
Don't try to gain respect. Trust God for your identity, for your purpose, for your fulfillment.(4)
Forsake respect as something to be gained, as something to be hoarded.
Instead, focus on giving others respect. Try to pay attention and listen when someone is talking to you. Try to understand why people feel the way they do. Try to understand what others find disrespectful, even if you don't see it the same way. Find out why people act the way they act. Don't be the person poking other people in the eye. Ignore it when others poke you. It's more than likely they don't even realize that they are doing it.
Never do anything for the purpose of gaining respect. If you are going to write, write because you want to. If you are going to preach, preach because you feel that God has given you something to say. If you are going to give money away, give it away because you want to bless others, and because it's not yours in the first place. We have an excellent example of people who did things to earn respect. The Pharisees were allll about gaining respect.(5)
And then guess what happens? It's bizarre, but if you don't care about respect, but instead try to be upright, knowledgeable, trustworthy, wise, and mature for the sake of it, and to love God, you'll end up being respected. And you won't feel like you deserve it. This fits within a pattern that we often see. (6)
I firmly believe that our lives should be focused on living out the Two Greatest Commandments:
Matthew 22:35-40 (MKJV)
"Then one of them, a lawyer, asked, tempting Him and saying, Master, which is the great commandment in the Law? Jesus said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets."
A selfish wish for respect has no place within this text. Respect has no value as an end. Instead our end goal should be to love others, and to love God. We can use respect to aim towards that goal, as we learn try to understand others and to be focused on God.
Disagree? Think I speak heresy? Comments? Use the form below! I would love to hear your thoughts.
1) http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Respect : See item 5.
2) http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/Respect : See item 4.
3) Philippians 2:21: For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus
4) 2 Timothy 1:9
5) Matthew 6:5-6
6) Matthew 10:39
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