As you have all been so expectantly awaiting, another installment in the "Extreme Pain by Stupidity" Series!
Last year we all learned how milk chugged on an empty stomach can cause pain to the poor sap who indulges in the beverage in such a matter. This year we learn how an empty stomach can cause even more pain when connected to an empty brain! It truly is amazing what kind of torture you can cause yourself when you don't stop to think.
! Disclaimer ! The following article has a write-up describing the scientific and amazing bodily function of rejecting certain stimuli that are introduced through the throat to the inner structures of the gut. May cause nausea. ! End of Disclaimer !
As the son of one of those Mother's who believes very actively in lots of supplements, this morning I consumed an amazing variety of items that were supposedly items that shore up bodily defenses, and make you feel better.
However, as might have been expected of some dumb mule, I forgot the whole rule about "do not take on a empty stomach".
On top of that add the following ingredients to your easily achieved dose of terrific pain:
1. Down supplements with vanilla biscotti Coffee. Amazing stuff!!
2. Ensure that you consume the following supplements : Cayenne Pepper, Cod Liver Oil, . . . I leave the rest to your imagination. Presumably you could get a variety of different types of pain if you used a different variety of supplements than I used.
3. Return to room satisfied in your continued health.
4. Feel an immense urge to . . ahem . . . puke.
5. And this part is absolutely essential for a maximum level of pain.
Eject stomach contents. Make sure a good half of the brew goes through your nose. The coffee, Cayenne pepper, and digestive juices should have had time to combine into one of the most acidic and eye watering combinations known (or not known) to man.
6. Cry and try to breath for the next half hour. Make sure you check multiple times in case the brew has eaten through the membranes of your nose and to make sure you are not pouring blood from destroyed blood veins.
So there you have it folks!!! Yet another amazing, and ingenious pain inducing method. I'd personally like to thank the researchers out in the field. Without them, this series would be impossible.
Which would not bother me at all.
5/20/10
The Craziest Thing
You know, the biggest, and toughest, thing about working for yourself on something like coding is that it can be beyond impossible to actually concentrate. I mean, the computer is probably the biggest source of distraction yet derived by mankind. And here I am, doing all my work on a . . . you guessed it . . . computer! Logic, logic, logic. If it weren't for my incredible control over my will, and my overwhelming concentration, I would more than likely get distracted and absorbed by things like Facebook, or Buzz, or Twitter, or . . . my blog.
I think I'm going to bed now.
I think I'm going to bed now.
5/6/10
Pain
"Growing up is all about pain. Getting hurt, and then getting over it, and knowing you'll get hurt again. But you learn things, and you move forward. And at some point you realize that there are more flavors of pain than coffee. There's the little empty pain of leaving something behind ‒ graduating, taking the next step forward, walking out of something familiar and safe into the unknown. There's the big, whirling pain of life upending all of your plans and expectations. There's the sharp little pains of failure, and the more obscure aches of successes that didn't give you what you thought they would.
There are the vicious, stabbing pains of hopes being torn up. The sweet little pains of finding others, giving them your love, and taking joy in their life as they grow and learn. There's the steady pain of empathy that you shrug off so you can stand beside a wounded friend and help them bear their burdens.
And if you are very, very lucky, there are a few blazing hot little pains you feel when you realize that you are standing in a moment of utter perfection, an instant of triumph, or happiness, or mirth which at the same time cannot possibly last ‒ and yet will remain with you for life.
Everyone is down on pain, because they forget something important about it: Pain is for the living. Only the dead don't feel it."
There are the vicious, stabbing pains of hopes being torn up. The sweet little pains of finding others, giving them your love, and taking joy in their life as they grow and learn. There's the steady pain of empathy that you shrug off so you can stand beside a wounded friend and help them bear their burdens.
And if you are very, very lucky, there are a few blazing hot little pains you feel when you realize that you are standing in a moment of utter perfection, an instant of triumph, or happiness, or mirth which at the same time cannot possibly last ‒ and yet will remain with you for life.
Everyone is down on pain, because they forget something important about it: Pain is for the living. Only the dead don't feel it."
4/16/10
Refrigorators
Love it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rmun8GK6o2c&feature=youtube_gdata
Oh, and today I had the honor of (almost) helping Ken Ham fix his Mac! (He fixed it while he was showing me. Sigh.)
Oh well.
4/9/10
Oh, the Irony
Yesterday morning, one of my big projects was putting up new letters on our sign. The sign is one of those types that has black letters on plastic clear squares. Anyway, I spent a good half an hour working on putting them up, and risked my life on the pathetic ladder we have at work.
Therefore imagine my wicked glee when it was blizzarding last afternoon. For the sign had read:
"Be optimistic. Take your winter tires off now!"
Epic fail.
Therefore imagine my wicked glee when it was blizzarding last afternoon. For the sign had read:
"Be optimistic. Take your winter tires off now!"
Epic fail.
3/27/10
100th Post
I just realized that this next post should be a benchmark. One hundred posts, and just one month short of a year.
I decided to bounce back and pick up some bits and pieces as review . . .
April 2009
"Alea Iacta Est!"
June 2009 13th
" Have you ever heard a fog horn? It's wonderful deep tones booming forth, guiding ships home through the darkness? Every half minute it rolls forth in mellow declaration of safety, the tones vibrating softly in the air. Nearby, the waves roll steadily inland their thunder of movement filling the ear with a comfortable backdrop to the lilting music of the birds. Where the water comes in contact with stolid rock, it roars upwards with boom and a flash of white that surprises the senses. The silence brought by the concussion of tide is filled with the hiss of water returning to it's course.
It's honest, the sea. It makes you face things honestly. . . It speaks to you of things that you wish could be, and it speaks of who you are, pointing out your flaws, but through all things is fair. Not letting us stumble under the weight of it's words. One can ignore it's words as merely the natural sounds of a vigorous habitat, but one always hears whether one wishes it or not. Those of deep inclinations become enthralled by it, becoming devoted to it. They love it as few masters are loved, and they fear it's power. For she is a cruel mistress. "
June 2009 18th
"Found some really cool Latin this morning : caligo (1) -inis f. [fog , mist, darkness]. Transf., [mental darkness, dullness; calamity, affliction, gloom]
That just makes my brain whirl!!"
July 2009 11th
"They later informed me that even though I had beaten both of them together, it did not entitle me to a victory breakdance in the parking lot. "
July 2009 20th
"~ Throwing rocks at Robert as he climbed down a cliff. Sorry. Dirt. Not rocks.
~ Climbing down the same said cliff barefoot. Because Robert made it down with only water shoes, and I totally had to top him. Then having Rachel do it as well, and then racing back up hill. Everyone barefoot."
August 2009 6th
"You gotta play with the cards Life deals you. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. But at least you're in the game."
-Vic Fontaine
"Welcome to the human race. Nobody controls his own life, Ender. The best you can do is choose to be controlled by good people, by people who love you."
-Valentine
September 2009 24th
"Now I'm crying, because I want to walk. I want to talk. My heart yearns within me. I open my mouth in a groan, trying to tell them . . . I want to walk. Now I'm wailing, I want to be smart! Please let me be smart! Please let me be who I used to be! Tears roll down my cheeks in a flood of coolness.
Why can't I?
Why can't I?
WHY CAN'T I, PLEASE!!?"
October 2009 25th
"No guilt in life, no fear in death -
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final death,
Jesus commands my destiny."
November 2009 20th
"- A small, rectangular Mirror
- A set of eyes from Mr. Potato-Head
- A Shark tooth.
- A Ring.
- An old style Pen
December 2009 3rd
"Stars sparkle gently in the cold dark winter of space, their gentle forms sometimes faint to the point of non-existence, sometimes bright as a shout of laughter, flowing round the ghost outline of a ship."
January 21 2010
"just cause everything may royally suck right now, doesn't mean things don't get better. Cause there is always something beautiful. There are mountains to reach the top of, coasts to walk along, friends to laugh with, cars to drive, music to listen to.
It gets better. I promise."
February 28th 2010
"He shoots!! He SCOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEESSSSS!!!!!!!"
March 10 2010
"And as time goes by, I find that, more and more, my favorite drink at Tim's is Chamomile tea."
=)
And that's it. Happy One Hundredth, blog!
I decided to bounce back and pick up some bits and pieces as review . . .
April 2009
"Alea Iacta Est!"
June 2009 13th
" Have you ever heard a fog horn? It's wonderful deep tones booming forth, guiding ships home through the darkness? Every half minute it rolls forth in mellow declaration of safety, the tones vibrating softly in the air. Nearby, the waves roll steadily inland their thunder of movement filling the ear with a comfortable backdrop to the lilting music of the birds. Where the water comes in contact with stolid rock, it roars upwards with boom and a flash of white that surprises the senses. The silence brought by the concussion of tide is filled with the hiss of water returning to it's course.
It's honest, the sea. It makes you face things honestly. . . It speaks to you of things that you wish could be, and it speaks of who you are, pointing out your flaws, but through all things is fair. Not letting us stumble under the weight of it's words. One can ignore it's words as merely the natural sounds of a vigorous habitat, but one always hears whether one wishes it or not. Those of deep inclinations become enthralled by it, becoming devoted to it. They love it as few masters are loved, and they fear it's power. For she is a cruel mistress. "
June 2009 18th
"Found some really cool Latin this morning : caligo (1) -inis f. [fog , mist, darkness]. Transf., [mental darkness, dullness; calamity, affliction, gloom]
That just makes my brain whirl!!"
July 2009 11th
"They later informed me that even though I had beaten both of them together, it did not entitle me to a victory breakdance in the parking lot. "
July 2009 20th
"~ Throwing rocks at Robert as he climbed down a cliff. Sorry. Dirt. Not rocks.
~ Climbing down the same said cliff barefoot. Because Robert made it down with only water shoes, and I totally had to top him. Then having Rachel do it as well, and then racing back up hill. Everyone barefoot."
August 2009 6th
"You gotta play with the cards Life deals you. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. But at least you're in the game."
-Vic Fontaine
"Welcome to the human race. Nobody controls his own life, Ender. The best you can do is choose to be controlled by good people, by people who love you."
-Valentine
September 2009 24th
"Now I'm crying, because I want to walk. I want to talk. My heart yearns within me. I open my mouth in a groan, trying to tell them . . . I want to walk. Now I'm wailing, I want to be smart! Please let me be smart! Please let me be who I used to be! Tears roll down my cheeks in a flood of coolness.
Why can't I?
Why can't I?
WHY CAN'T I, PLEASE!!?"
October 2009 25th
"No guilt in life, no fear in death -
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final death,
Jesus commands my destiny."
November 2009 20th
"- A small, rectangular Mirror
- A set of eyes from Mr. Potato-Head
- A Shark tooth.
- A Ring.
- An old style Pen
December 2009 3rd
"Stars sparkle gently in the cold dark winter of space, their gentle forms sometimes faint to the point of non-existence, sometimes bright as a shout of laughter, flowing round the ghost outline of a ship."
January 21 2010
"just cause everything may royally suck right now, doesn't mean things don't get better. Cause there is always something beautiful. There are mountains to reach the top of, coasts to walk along, friends to laugh with, cars to drive, music to listen to.
It gets better. I promise."
February 28th 2010
"He shoots!! He SCOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEESSSSS!!!!!!!"
March 10 2010
"And as time goes by, I find that, more and more, my favorite drink at Tim's is Chamomile tea."
=)
And that's it. Happy One Hundredth, blog!
3/22/10
Is it just me?
Or has this ministry gone a little too corporate? And honestly, how would this be encouraging to anyone?
Click to take a look,
This image is from Kenneth Copeland Ministries.
Click to take a look,
This image is from Kenneth Copeland Ministries.
3/14/10
Huberis
Today is a Random Thought Day (commonly known as RTD).
Thought A) I have finally taken the time to create my own twitter account, after a fair amount of research into it's uses. I'm curious to see how that turns out. Two reasons for doing so : a ) It's best to be up to date on the different internet trends, and to be able to use them, especially in my line of business, and b ) It will be a perfect way to keep in touch w/ people while I'm in Oregon later this year.
But what made me laugh the most, was the username I picked. I wanted something smart, and I ended up with huberislayne. Now, you may think that that is huber is layne, however you would be incorrect. Rather, it is huberis layne.
thought B ) Hubris (aka huberis) N - extreme haughtiness or arrogance. Hubris often indicates a loss of touch with reality and overestimating one's own competence or capabilities, especially for people in positions of power.
This seemed remarkably appropriate and funny.
Thought C) I'm still not convinced that I should get facebook yet.
Thought D) Did you know that there is more bacteria in your intestines (good mostly) than there are cells in your body? Technically speaking, shouldn't that mean we are a bacterial colony life form? With some Human mixed in? Maybe the part of us that is always sinful is created by the low-end electronic pulses of bacterial life forms! Except that presumably Dogs have bacteria too. . .
Thought A) I have finally taken the time to create my own twitter account, after a fair amount of research into it's uses. I'm curious to see how that turns out. Two reasons for doing so : a ) It's best to be up to date on the different internet trends, and to be able to use them, especially in my line of business, and b ) It will be a perfect way to keep in touch w/ people while I'm in Oregon later this year.
But what made me laugh the most, was the username I picked. I wanted something smart, and I ended up with huberislayne. Now, you may think that that is huber is layne, however you would be incorrect. Rather, it is huberis layne.
thought B ) Hubris (aka huberis) N - extreme haughtiness or arrogance. Hubris often indicates a loss of touch with reality and overestimating one's own competence or capabilities, especially for people in positions of power.
This seemed remarkably appropriate and funny.
Thought C) I'm still not convinced that I should get facebook yet.
Thought D) Did you know that there is more bacteria in your intestines (good mostly) than there are cells in your body? Technically speaking, shouldn't that mean we are a bacterial colony life form? With some Human mixed in? Maybe the part of us that is always sinful is created by the low-end electronic pulses of bacterial life forms! Except that presumably Dogs have bacteria too. . .
3/10/10
Chamomile
I have found over the past couple months that when I go to Tim Horton's, there are not a lot of liquid options that I really enjoy. I believe that this is mostly due to the overwhelming abundance of sugar in their hot chocolate and cappuccinos (and don't get me started on the mocha's). But if you take sugar out of the picture, it removes almost all the possibilities and you end up with the options of coffee (only cream) or . . . . tea.
And as time goes by, I find that, more and more, my favorite drink at Tim's is Chamomile tea.
So shoot me. = P
And as time goes by, I find that, more and more, my favorite drink at Tim's is Chamomile tea.
So shoot me. = P
2/28/10
Score
He shoots!! He SCOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEESSSSS!!!!!!!
Roberto Luongo Rocks!!
And Canada has now won more gold medals in a single Olympics than any country in the WORLD.
Roberto Luongo Rocks!!
And Canada has now won more gold medals in a single Olympics than any country in the WORLD.
2/27/10
The pool of Perrcipio
A reflection; glimpsed but briefly before it flees the smooth glass of the water.
This is the pool of Perrcipio. It's lies next to a seemingly quite path, slowly becoming overgrown in ferns.
There is a sign, standing there, with words, barely readable. One gets the feeling of warning, yet, invitation. You look closer so you can make out the words scratched into the wood.
"This is the pool of Perrcipio. It does not twist, it does not hide. Look. But only if you want yourself to be known. Only if you want to know who you are. For the pool understands, it feels what you feel, it knows why you are who you are. It does not judge."
You have choices now. You can react with fear, which is of course a natural response, and one that makes the most sense. For to know one's self, and to find it from without, is very risky. So you could walk straight by. The choice is yours.
Or, keeping your fear in mind, you can choose to trust the builder of the sign. The pool does not hide truth, and neither does it twist it. But it does not create you again, but merely reflects. You lose nothing. You could look in the pool and learn.
The choice is yours.
The water is smooth, and you feel the urge to throw a pebble. To break that smoothness. to send ripples through that circle of sight. Even then, the pool understands.
The choice is yours.
You can gain much, and lose much.
2/23/10
Coalesce
It's pretty crazy sometimes, how things just go in such and such a way so that plans are made, without you doing any planning really. It's really exciting. = )
Right now things are coming together so that I'll be leaving some time this spring for Oregon, USA. I don't know for how long, or when exactly. Only for a month or two I think. But it looks like it's working out in such a way that I will be able to be down there and actually earn the same as I am earning now with about the same level of expenses.
We'll see what happens next. . .
Right now things are coming together so that I'll be leaving some time this spring for Oregon, USA. I don't know for how long, or when exactly. Only for a month or two I think. But it looks like it's working out in such a way that I will be able to be down there and actually earn the same as I am earning now with about the same level of expenses.
We'll see what happens next. . .
2/18/10
Quotes
"You have to understand. Dragons in themselves are not intrinsically bad. Rather, how they are used, and the motivations behind the users can give them a negative value. But essentially, Dragons are a neutral force."
~ Master Lecturer Hassaf McCardo, from the Draconis Academia Collections
"Ever since the days of Sun-Tzu, all good soldiers know that the best defense is a good offense. This, however, is not entirely true. Rather, the best defense is a brilliant offense. Anything less than that is court martial material."
~ Maj. General Jon Korbella, United States Army
~ Master Lecturer Hassaf McCardo, from the Draconis Academia Collections
"Ever since the days of Sun-Tzu, all good soldiers know that the best defense is a good offense. This, however, is not entirely true. Rather, the best defense is a brilliant offense. Anything less than that is court martial material."
~ Maj. General Jon Korbella, United States Army
2/16/10
Graphics
I've never run into a game that give me that feeling of reality, or the feeling of beauty you sometimes get in surroundings. But I must say, Assassin's Creed almost gives me that feeling. The graphics are unbelievable.
And it's fun too.
2/15/10
2/14/10
2/12/10
picture [ˈpɪktʃə]
N - a visual representation of something, such as a person or scene, produced on a surface, as in a photograph, painting, etc.
Yesterday and Today I was up by Delburne, calling upon me good friend, Kerzdenn Kowalchuk. Kerzdenn and I have a great working relationship, with him helping me with pictures, and then me helping him with website things. It has worked out quite well actually. Anyway, over the last couple months, the need to get new profile pics has become more and more incessant in my mind, seeing particularly as the last photo of myself that I truly liked was from when I was about 17 or 18.
Anyway, we both had a great time taking shots, and having shots being taken off, at his place and in Red Deer. And I'm really, really happy with the results.
Yesterday and Today I was up by Delburne, calling upon me good friend, Kerzdenn Kowalchuk. Kerzdenn and I have a great working relationship, with him helping me with pictures, and then me helping him with website things. It has worked out quite well actually. Anyway, over the last couple months, the need to get new profile pics has become more and more incessant in my mind, seeing particularly as the last photo of myself that I truly liked was from when I was about 17 or 18.
Anyway, we both had a great time taking shots, and having shots being taken off, at his place and in Red Deer. And I'm really, really happy with the results.
We found some really sweet construction that added a lot of nice ambiance. . .
Gotta love old clocks and things!!
Now THIS shot, I'm very proud off. Kerzdenn let me hold his camera, while he looked for some mysterious paraphernalia/torture device, in his monstrous bag.
Kinda fun, but gets old after a half dozen repeats.
Ahh . . . Symmetry.
It was closed. . . and it wasn't an apartment.
Absolutely LOVE this one Kerz!
So thanks again Kerz, for all the fun times, theological discussion, good food, website frustrations, fun shopping, and introducing me to the term "that's tight!"
2/8/10
Family (as it used to be)
Long time ago, our family looked like this.
Loooooong time ago.
I was eight? I think?
And I haven't had a haircut like that for ages.
Thankfully.
2/5/10
If I was Tintin . . .
. . . Nathan Fletcher would be Captain Haddock,
Jesse Chaulk would be Cuthbert Calculus
Robert Griffiths and Kadin Osborne would be
Thomson & Thompson
David Fletcher would be Nestor the Butler
And yeah. It was a late night last night. . .
Jesse Chaulk would be Cuthbert Calculus
Robert Griffiths and Kadin Osborne would be
Thomson & Thompson
David Fletcher would be Nestor the Butler
And yeah. It was a late night last night. . .
2/4/10
Actions
Some actions have an end but no beginning; some begin but do not end. It all depends upon where the observer is standing.
- Leto
The thing about this quote, is that it emphasizes the mystery of perspective. As Christians, and as friends, one of our greatest challenges is trying to make sure that we don't get locked into our own perspective. It is required of us instead to break out of that viewpoint; to go and stand on the opposite side as an observer.
Matt. 22:39 "And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."
How can we love anyone, if we don't even stop to think about what they see, what they feel?
"In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him.I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves."
But what about Hitler? How can you possibly love someone like that? Someone who purposefully hurts and mistreats others. How can you understand him? Do people like Hitler become the villains they are at birth? I don't believe so. Consider that Hitler was actually a mother's son, a child who was somebody's offspring. His upbringing was fairly normal I believe, not something from one of the Saw movies. Before WWI he was a painter, and very poor. Of course, we don't understand completely his mind. But we see the results.
We do not condone what was, and is done by people like that. But we also should consider that they didn't start off that different from us, and we could possibly end up standing in their shoes, if it weren't for the grace of God.
It's sobering. And it gives sympathy, where there might not have been any.
Does that make sense at all?
Personally, I think the most loving thing you can do to anyone, is see things the way they do.
You don't have to condone, you don't have to agree, but you do have to love.
"In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him.I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves."
- Ender Wiggin
But what about Hitler? How can you possibly love someone like that? Someone who purposefully hurts and mistreats others. How can you understand him? Do people like Hitler become the villains they are at birth? I don't believe so. Consider that Hitler was actually a mother's son, a child who was somebody's offspring. His upbringing was fairly normal I believe, not something from one of the Saw movies. Before WWI he was a painter, and very poor. Of course, we don't understand completely his mind. But we see the results.
We do not condone what was, and is done by people like that. But we also should consider that they didn't start off that different from us, and we could possibly end up standing in their shoes, if it weren't for the grace of God.
It's sobering. And it gives sympathy, where there might not have been any.
Does that make sense at all?
Personally, I think the most loving thing you can do to anyone, is see things the way they do.
You don't have to condone, you don't have to agree, but you do have to love.
1/31/10
Smelling the Roses
up early
Today was awesome. A day devoted singularly to stopping and smelling the roses. It has been so very long since I've gotten a Saturday off. And so long since I've seen the mountains. . . Getting up (reasonably) early is not one of my favorite things to do, I will admit but I wanted to have lots of time. . . And there is just something awesome to get up, get into a warm car, pumping
loud (awesome) tunes
out the speakers, and driving. Not to work, but to one of the most beautiful locations on earth!
And while a
road trip
is great, and the mountains are better, what are they if experienced alone, and not with a
Seriously, it was soo perfect. Just to drive, talk and listen. To forget. No deadlines, for at least just a day. = D
I have a theory that certain mind patterns become associated with our surroundings, and that sometimes we have to jump out, just so we can get out of the ruts we have created.
And it was EPIC!!
= D
1/26/10
No Clue at the Zoo
So, again, here I sit at my desk at work, chatting with my aunt, cause there ain't no customers.
I finish up with her, and then sit for awhile, just musing.
The phone rings. The Uhaul line.
I answer.
A guy inquires into the availability of some dollies to move some furniture. I explain nicely that actually I'm out of stock. He mulls this over, and then moves on to truck rentals, inquiring into when a truck would be available this week.
"Probably either Wednesday or Thursday." I explain.
"Ok, cool. Would a tiger cage fit in it? Or a small elephant cage?" He asks.
Silence. I attempt to comprehend exactly what he's saying.
"I live right by the zoo, and I'm moving to a farm. I'm taking with me two of the tigers to take care of them for a bit, and I will need a truck to transport them."
Again, I'm silent. Then, in a somewhat skeptical tone of voice, I repeat what he had just told me, and ask him to verify it.
"That's right. Can a Uhaul truck carry a tiger?"
Finally, my mind is back on its feet. Sort of. I quickly explain that actually I was not able to authorize a truck rental for the transportation of a tiger at this location. However, if he called the Calgary Head Office, he would be able to talk to someone with more standing. I gave him the phone number, he thanked me, and hung up.
Wow.
Not only is that the most insane phone call I've ever had, but I also am pretty sure it's against some type of animal welfare to transport wildlife in a uhaul truck.
And I didn't know the Zoo had an endangered species lending program either.
I finish up with her, and then sit for awhile, just musing.
The phone rings. The Uhaul line.
I answer.
A guy inquires into the availability of some dollies to move some furniture. I explain nicely that actually I'm out of stock. He mulls this over, and then moves on to truck rentals, inquiring into when a truck would be available this week.
"Probably either Wednesday or Thursday." I explain.
"Ok, cool. Would a tiger cage fit in it? Or a small elephant cage?" He asks.
Silence. I attempt to comprehend exactly what he's saying.
"I live right by the zoo, and I'm moving to a farm. I'm taking with me two of the tigers to take care of them for a bit, and I will need a truck to transport them."
Again, I'm silent. Then, in a somewhat skeptical tone of voice, I repeat what he had just told me, and ask him to verify it.
"That's right. Can a Uhaul truck carry a tiger?"
Finally, my mind is back on its feet. Sort of. I quickly explain that actually I was not able to authorize a truck rental for the transportation of a tiger at this location. However, if he called the Calgary Head Office, he would be able to talk to someone with more standing. I gave him the phone number, he thanked me, and hung up.
Wow.
Not only is that the most insane phone call I've ever had, but I also am pretty sure it's against some type of animal welfare to transport wildlife in a uhaul truck.
And I didn't know the Zoo had an endangered species lending program either.
Oh . . .
You know when you thought you knew everything about everything? That you had a handle on things? It's always a bit surprising to find out that you don't.
But in a way, it helps you find you're way back to where you want to be. . . That peace.
Maybe I can find Neverland again. . .
Actually, this song kinda says that to me. I know it seems lame as far as the lyrics go. But if you listen to the music, and the general gist and message, it really actually is quite profound. Or just lame. It's up to interpretation.
Hungry
Layne: You're hungry? You had breakfast!
Jesse: It was cold cereal.
Layne: It was mini wheats.
Jesse: So?
Layne: I haven't had anything since supper, and I'm not hungry.
Jesse : Yeah, but you eat like a bird for some reason. . .
K. Seriously, that made me laugh. Especially cause of how 'Jesse' the wording was. . .
Jesse: It was cold cereal.
Layne: It was mini wheats.
Jesse: So?
Layne: I haven't had anything since supper, and I'm not hungry.
Jesse : Yeah, but you eat like a bird for some reason. . .
K. Seriously, that made me laugh. Especially cause of how 'Jesse' the wording was. . .
1/23/10
Huh?
So, I'm sitting here, taking care of Uhaul, when a gas customer comes in. She hands Charlie her mastercard. It was burnt, and slightly warped. She explained nicely that it actually might not work, and then went on to explain how the negative changes had happened.
"It got burnt in the microwave."
*blink*
She then explained that:
"See, I wasn't supposed to use it, so I put it in the freezer. But then I had to get all the ice off it. . ."
*blink, blink*
Just smile and nod . . . .
Those kind of people really scare me.
"It got burnt in the microwave."
*blink*
She then explained that:
"See, I wasn't supposed to use it, so I put it in the freezer. But then I had to get all the ice off it. . ."
*blink, blink*
Just smile and nod . . . .
Those kind of people really scare me.
1/21/10
Something Beautiful
Sometimes we run into things that make us believe we'll never laugh again. And though this song would only tear me up inside more, it also helped so much. Sometimes you have to reopen wounds so that they heal right .
And just cause everything may royally suck right now, doesn't mean things don't get better. Cause there is always something beautiful. There are mountains to reach the top of, coasts to walk along, friends to laugh with, cars to drive, music to listen to.
It gets better. I promise.
And just cause everything may royally suck right now, doesn't mean things don't get better. Cause there is always something beautiful. There are mountains to reach the top of, coasts to walk along, friends to laugh with, cars to drive, music to listen to.
It gets better. I promise.
1/19/10
1/16/10
Neverland Lost
Dropped. All contention, strife.
Beauty overwhelms. Horns blend together, uplifting each other to greater feats of musical acrobatics. Arguing the case of nobility.
Forgotten. Worries and fears.
For a moment in time, all is right. More peace is wrapped in that single note than in a lifetime.
Memory . Faint, glimmering. Our minds seem to flow around it, a stone in a rushing stream. Something vague. Essential.
Our souls seem to rise with the glorious melody and accompaniment. Our hair stands on end in concert with our souls.
Our life is now. Not then , not later, but singularly in the infinite moment. We know this place. We have searched for it for so very long.
We don't know what it is. Our minds worry at the memory, trying to dislodge it. Some lose patience, dismiss it as irrelevant. They let themselves forget.
But some don't.
A question surfaces: Have we forgotten how to fly? To soar?
Maturity, reason, logic. Perspective upon perspective, upon perspective pile themselves upon unaware shoulders. Some accept foolishness, ignore them. Others act with honour, observe them. Embrace them. Then break as options and fears overwhelm them.
Yet as the music flows, part of us can remember what it felt to soar. Can remember the whisper of the dream, Part of us yearns for it back.
We are lost.
The way back is hidden.
Peace with wisdom; Neverland.
Beauty overwhelms. Horns blend together, uplifting each other to greater feats of musical acrobatics. Arguing the case of nobility.
Forgotten. Worries and fears.
For a moment in time, all is right. More peace is wrapped in that single note than in a lifetime.
Memory . Faint, glimmering. Our minds seem to flow around it, a stone in a rushing stream. Something vague. Essential.
Our souls seem to rise with the glorious melody and accompaniment. Our hair stands on end in concert with our souls.
Our life is now. Not then , not later, but singularly in the infinite moment. We know this place. We have searched for it for so very long.
We don't know what it is. Our minds worry at the memory, trying to dislodge it. Some lose patience, dismiss it as irrelevant. They let themselves forget.
But some don't.
A question surfaces: Have we forgotten how to fly? To soar?
Maturity, reason, logic. Perspective upon perspective, upon perspective pile themselves upon unaware shoulders. Some accept foolishness, ignore them. Others act with honour, observe them. Embrace them. Then break as options and fears overwhelm them.
Yet as the music flows, part of us can remember what it felt to soar. Can remember the whisper of the dream, Part of us yearns for it back.
We are lost.
The way back is hidden.
Peace with wisdom; Neverland.
1/10/10
Erosion and Survival
THE storm approaches the coast in a rush of blackened violence. The waves begin to dance, to rise and fall, rushing downwards again in a white flurry of agitation. The rock waits; cooly, collected. It has no fear; it is solid, unmoving. Maybe too fearless, for the water strikes with a violence which the rocks have never before felt or seen.
Wave after leaping wave rise upwards and leap down, in a horrendous hiss of anger. Like ancient green knights upon great white flowing steeds. Leap, fall. Their sharp swords glinting with lightning. With thunderous crash upon thunderous crash, they maintain their campaign against logic. The algorithms of Chaos, a vendeta of thought. Yet logic halts their advances with a sheer wall of reason.
But patience is a virtue, and Chaos pushes its advantage of numbers. Spray is thrown up and above the great rough terraces, soaking them with a fine mist that finds its way into the cracks and weaknessess. Its salt burns within the wounds, widening them slowly and surely. The air reverberates with a deep bass thrumm as the assualt continues, Chaos sensing the approach of the scent of victory. Underneath the rising creshendo a plaintive cry swells, at first masked by the bass, but then clearly heard. The sound of pain, of rock breaking, its structure collapsing under the continued impacts and the insidous mists.
High up, a point crumbles like chalk and falls with a groan, plunging downwards and dispelling the milling forces below it in a great rush. The rock aches, its outline changing as stress and continued pressure force it into new formations. But even as the rock is changed, yet it stands steady, its foundations rebutting all attempts that water devises. And while the rock aches for what it was, and for what it has lost, the rock becomes aquainted with what it has become, and becomes what it is aquainted with.
This is life. Your life and my life. All of our lives. Chaos threatens us again and again. Life seems to rush over us and we have to pull ourselves up and out, gasping for breath. And though we know that God is forming us, changing us, we have a hard time making sense of it. It hurts, a lot. It makes no sense from our perspective generally. The important thing to remember is that you need to keep your foundation, and accept the changes as they come. (Unless they are really harmful to yourself, obviously. Like if you started smoking. You shouldn't just say that you're accepting yourself.) See the flaws, ask God to work through them. Know that what you've lost is important, and that it was part of you, but don't lose yourself along with it.
Recognize who you are now. Cause who you were then is different. And if you focus on who you were then, you won't notice how you've changed, and what needs work right now.
And if you've read this far, you're incredible and you can pat yourself on the back for your perseverance.
1/5/10
20(10)
Now I am twenty.
Now it is the tenth year into the millennium.
Life would appear to fly. . . and with the end of the year it seems like the only thing we can really do is count milestones. Question that we have to ask ourselves then, is what are the milestones?
Are the milestones our accomplishments in life? Are they the little things that we do because we want to try it all before we die? Or are the milestones more linear, less stratified. Our spiritual health at the end of year? How do you measure that really? Are the milestones symbols of our relationships? Of how we progress within them? That would almost seem impossible. Friendships grow, and others fade. How do you chalk them up as successful or unsuccessful? And really, is there such a thing as an unsuccessful friendship?
Those are the thoughts that really come to mind when I consider this last year of my life.
I can hope that I'm wiser, more mature, now that another year has gone by. But really, I've don't have any real good way of measuring that. I feel like I've seen more, so I've had more experiences, but I'm not entirely sure how they have changed who I am.
I'm confused.
Time needs to slow down, so I can find my feet again.
= , I guess this isn't the usual happy post about the last year. But I couldn't write that right now for some reason. I'll write it later.
Now it is the tenth year into the millennium.
Life would appear to fly. . . and with the end of the year it seems like the only thing we can really do is count milestones. Question that we have to ask ourselves then, is what are the milestones?
Are the milestones our accomplishments in life? Are they the little things that we do because we want to try it all before we die? Or are the milestones more linear, less stratified. Our spiritual health at the end of year? How do you measure that really? Are the milestones symbols of our relationships? Of how we progress within them? That would almost seem impossible. Friendships grow, and others fade. How do you chalk them up as successful or unsuccessful? And really, is there such a thing as an unsuccessful friendship?
Those are the thoughts that really come to mind when I consider this last year of my life.
I can hope that I'm wiser, more mature, now that another year has gone by. But really, I've don't have any real good way of measuring that. I feel like I've seen more, so I've had more experiences, but I'm not entirely sure how they have changed who I am.
I'm confused.
Time needs to slow down, so I can find my feet again.
= , I guess this isn't the usual happy post about the last year. But I couldn't write that right now for some reason. I'll write it later.
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